Monday, January 22, 2007

Grudges and Forgiveness

Are you the type of person to hold grudges? Or can you forgive and forget easily?
Does it depend on the person who commited the 'act' against you? Or the seriousness of the 'act' itself?

I watched a movie not too long ago, and one of the issues at the heart of the movie was forgiveness. The protagonist in the movie was told that when you hold a grudge and refuse to forgive someone, you allow THEM to have power over you.
I can see where this is true. Even if you say you don't speak to someone anymore, at some point it surfaces to the front of your mind. You wonder if things would have gone differently. You try to make excuses for their behavior. They are occupying space in your mind, and it's not good space if you allow it to only be negative thoughts.

I admit, I suppose I used to hold grudges. Now, I might give the appearance of forgiveness. But I do NOT forget. It's very hard, especially when I've been badly hurt by someone, not to think about what they did sometimes. And I know this probably isn't healthy. It's something that I think about every now and then, and I work on it. I'm not perfect. No one is.

The act is no longer brought up. You talk with the person. But there comes the issue of TRUST. Every now and then you do wonder about what they're saying about you, or if they're plotting to do something TO you. You have to work through this too.

I'm not a religious person, but I heard Pastor T.D. Jakes talking on the radio earlier this morning talking about forgiveness. He said if you want to lose weight, try first getting rid of the grudge that you'll realize it was heavier than you thought.

Wednesday, January 3, 2007

Invisible life?

Do you ever just feel invisible or unimportant? That the mundane goings-on of life are just one empty routine after another, almost like you're on autopilot? Going through the motions for the sake of stability and familiarality?
Like people don't notice you? Like you want to stand up and scream, 'Look at me!' Not to be an attention whore, but just to have SOMEONE think and acknowledge that you ARE important, and that the things that you say and do really DO matter.
What's so wrong with wanting to be noticed? Is there something bad in wanting to have someone talk to you, acknowledge you, think that you're 'worthy' enough to sit down and just shoot the breeze for a bit?
Some people are 'noticed', yet they don't have to say a word or do a thing. Other people are talkers and doers and feelers, yet for all they say and do, they might as well just be part of the crowd...there, but no one really 'sees' them.
How this this 'unbalance' happen...and how can it be fixed?
Or can it...?